Observing Communication Week 3 EDUC 6358

Observing Communication

I decided to observe my daughter’s jiu-jitsu class to see if I could identify mindful communication between the coach and the children in her class. I was not disappointed. Coaching jiu-jitsu is much like teaching in a school/childcare classroom because both are trying to teach and show children skills that involve critical thinking, physical activity, and social-emotional growth. Her coach has demonstrated that he loves teaching jiu-jitsu to children not only for the physical benefits but for the cognitive benefits as well. During the class that I observed with effective, mindful communication as the viewpoint, I was able to witness how extraordinary he is in teaching children. The children in the class are at varying levels due to age, size, ability, belt level, and time/experience. The coach was working a skill through drilling the same skill over and over until all the children felt comfortable with it. He walks around and gives tips and helps as the children take turns with their partners. For as big as he is, he has a very calming voice and never yells. One particular child was born without a hand and only has a few small finger-like digits so some of the grips required in jiu-jitsu can be difficult. Noticing that the child is trying to figure out how to make the best of it, he walked over, got down on the floor, and showed the child another way to make the skill he was teaching work better based on her ability. He could have ignored the issue or let the child pass on not learning that skill. Instead, he understood her other strengths and adapted the skill to her needs and strengths. Watching this interaction between a 6’3”, 225 lb. man and a tiny but fierce girl not only gives me warm fuzzies but it also gives me hope. Their coach not only shows empathy and compassion but he also teaches them those same attributes to carry outside of the gym.

Watching this interaction between the coach and the child reminded me of Stepehnson (2009) saying we should step back, listen, and observe children problem solve. Their coach is always observing and waiting to see if the children can solve their own problems before stepping in or voicing points of trouble. When he saw the girl had issues, he did not immediately jump in. After waiting a short time, he did go over to work with her. He listened to what she was saying then asked her to show him again and what exactly she did not like. Then they tried different things together which allowed the child to problem solve with guidance rather than the coach fixing the problem for her which reminded me that when we step back and not overpower them, children will often find creative ways to solve problems (Stephenson, 2009). This interaction also showed the same qualities as effective teacher talk such as encouragement, positive feedback, responding to the child’s needs, acknowledging the child’s knowledge, and affirming her self-worth (Rainer & Durden, 2010).

This interaction between the coach and the child made her feel like she was just as able as anyone else in the class and increased her feelings of self-worth. It also helps her relationships with the other children in the class because they see the coach does not treat her more gently than he does with any other child. In class, they are equals which would give her the confidence and ability to demand that same type of fairness outside of class.

Watching this interaction reminded me of my own communication style because I also like to speak in a soft, friendly tone to convey my compassion and understanding. We both also like to relate to children by relaying back to the child what we hear. I think this not only helps in understanding the issue but also aids in allowing the child to problem solve.

One thing I would like to improve on is slowing down. Sometimes I feel hyper-focused on one issue or one child having an issue rather than how it affects the whole classroom. I realize problems affect the whole class but instead of feeling the urgency of it, I want to slow it down, take a step back, and look at it from the perspective of all the children.

References

Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81.

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-Year-Old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95.