Conflict
Resolution
My professional conflict has to do with a discussion between
my immediate supervisor who is also my co-teacher, my director, and I. Apparently,
they had a discussion without me and decided together new ideas regarding classroom
management. Instead of collaborating and working to resolve an issue with
classroom management, I was told about the changes. Maybe because I am
people-oriented, I took this as a personal attack because I was unable to give
my input at the time since I was not included in the conversation, just the end
result. At the end of the day, my director came to me and thanked me for a good
day and that she liked what she heard from our classroom from her office. My co-teacher and I need to sit down and discuss
the changes further than she wants to work with the older children while I work
with the younger children. I am okay with each of us teaching to our strengths
but I felt a little left out of the loop since we were not able to discuss this
as a team.
What I have learned from this week is that this
discussion did not resolve the conflict. Rather it was just an attempt to fix a
problem instead of following the 3 R’s: respect, response, and relationship
(Cheshire, 2007). This conversation did not show any of the 3 R’s because I was
not asked for my input, it came from a place of control, and it did not feel
like a co-teacher relationship. As this evolves over the next few days, I will
have to go against my desire to avoid conflict so my thoughts can be heard
while also understanding the needs of my co-teacher so we can come to a mutual
agreement (Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.).
For my colleagues who are not people-oriented, what suggestions do you have to help me resolve this issue?
For my colleagues who are people-oriented, what tools have you used to overcome being emotionally charged during times of conflict?
All input is appreciated. Thank you!
Trish
References
The
Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved
from: http://www.cnvc.org/
Cheshire,
N. (2007). The 3 R’s: Gateway to infant toddler learning. Dimensions of Early Childhood. Volume 35, No. 3.
Hi Patricia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a personal feeling of yours. I have to say that I would have exactly felt the same way as you did. I would have felt left out of and perhaps it would have really hurt my feelings because I was not asked to join on the input of something so important especially if you all work as a team. Did you share your feelings with them? I would have shared them to let them know that I am part of the team and that it was hurtful and unprofessional to leave you out.
Patricia,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, I can completely understand where you are coming from about feeling left out of major decisions that are happening in your classroom. Last week, my director pulled me aside to discuss things that I believe the entire teaching team should be part of and should be included in those meetings. But after reading some of colleagues post I do not feel alone most of our conflicts seem universal. This is a great place to find support and place where concerns will be heard. I hope you find the support and help you need to continue to have a successful school year.
Trish, thank you for sharing about this experience. I agree that when you are not apart of a conversation that directly relates to your day to day work it can be very frustrating and feel like you have been excluded. I would try to express how you are feeling to your coworker, and explain that in the future you would like to be apart of the decision- making process so you can provide your input. Even if you are an easy going- go with the flow type of person, it is still important that you are able to share your ideas. I hope you are able to resolve this conflict!
ReplyDeleteBrianna
Trish,
ReplyDeleteThanks for opening up about this experience! I am also people-oriented and would feel personally attacked as well. When my coworkers, whom I work with directly, do not include me in decisions that affect me, I get offended as well. To overcome being emotionally charged, I try to express my feelings in professional ways and let them know that next time I would like to be included. I also try to understand it from their perspective, because it's possible they met briefly and intended to include me later. However, the only way to solve the issues are to discuss it with the other person/people and express how it made you feel. This direct communication helps to resolve the conflict and hopefully prevents it from happening again!
Tara
Patricia, I believe it is best that you go to whomever you feel most comfortable talking with to let them know exactly how you feel. Let them know that you would like to arrange a meeting with the group and would like to discuss the changes. I would not focus on how you feel about it, but I would would focus on the facts and also ask for answers (Why do they feel this is the best strategy? Is this a long-term change?). I hope things go well for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for ypur support and words of wisdom! I feel we will discuss this further as the week goes on. I agree that I should respectfully ask to be included in future discussions.
ReplyDeleteTrish