Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families

If someone told me that they believed early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families, I would have to disagree with them. All families should be equally represented and in a positive way regardless of the center’s beliefs or the beliefs of the teachers in the classroom (Laureate Education, 2010). Equal and positive representation ensures that each child’s identity is positively developed, accepted, and validated.

If you have ever used or heard homophobic terms such as "fag," "gay," "homo," "sissy," "tom boy," or "lesbo" as an insult by a child toward another child? Or, by an adult toward a child? Describe what occurred. How might these types of comments influence all children? (Note: if you have not had a personal experience, ask a family member, friend, or colleague)

I have never used these terms but I have heard them used and I have had my own children come home and tell me that they have heard these terms or have been told they are these things. My youngest daughter has been called a lesbian quite often at school because of her short hair and her athleticism. Because one of her older sisters is a lesbian, we have been able to have open and honest discussions about being gay/lesbian and that we are accepting of all of our children’s choices. We also discuss the unfairness of such prejudices and misconceptions and how to handle them. So far, she has handled these situations in stride. She also gets called a boy quite often by adults. With her peers, she sets them straight in various ways. Sometimes she lets them know that she donated her hair to children with hair loss and now likes her short hair. Other times she says she likes her short hair because she competes in jiu-jitsu. If they’re being rude, she just tells laughs them off and tells them how ridiculous their thinking is or will ask why it matters to them anyway. With adults, she doesn’t correct them. We let her guide us when it comes to correcting adults. The only time I correct an adult is when it is necessary such as when she is competing in jiu-jitsu and mistake her for a boy because the rules are different for what they can wear under the gi.

These types of comments influence all children because it gives them misinformation that divides them into groups of acceptance and unacceptance which in turn gives them a feeling of being superior over a marginalized group of people. Children absorb the prejudices and biases that surround them and begin to understand the power dynamics that come with certain social identities (Derman-Sparks & Olsen Edwards, 2010, pp. 15-16). It is sad to know that this is occurring in schools, that children are being bullied, and that some children choose to commit suicide over their struggle with their identity and the struggle of being accepted by society. ”Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average” and they are also five times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth (The Trevor Project, n.d.).

As early childhood educators, we need to teach acceptance, tolerance, and inclusion of all children in hopes that we can stop all instances of bullying and prejudice for a better future for our children.

References

Derman- Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Laureate Education (Producer). (n.d.). Start seeing diversity: Sexual orientation [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

The Trevor Project. (n.d.). Preventing suicide. Facts about suicide. Retrieved from: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/#sm.000tsf8a6zb6ctt1150261l4anghx

Thank all of you in EDUC 6165 Comm & Collab

I wanted to take the time to say a huge thank you to all of you! Many of us have been in all of the same courses throughout our Walden journey. Some of us have had a couple courses together or this was our first course together. Regardless of when or how often we have worked together, your input and support has been invaluable. All of you have helped me look at issues in ways I did not consider or you helped me expand on my current thinking.  I truly appreciate each and every one of you!
Feel free to stop by my blog anytime to say hi, ask a question, or to work on something together. You can also reach me using my email address: trishy0302@gmail.com 

 I hope to see some of you in future courses.

I wish all of you the best!
Trish

Adjourning

Adjourning

Adjourning is the final stage of a group where the group members move off into different directions (Abudi, 2010). Groups that make it to the fourth stage of performing will have formed strong bonds with each other and will feel a sense of sadness before moving on to other things (Abudi, 2010).

Looking back at all the different groups I was a part of, I feel like the hardest thing to do was to move on from the friendships I made during my early college days. Some of my closest friendships are from this time. We did everything together to include studying and hanging out. Through these bonds, we learned how to navigate life together. Because we were all growing into who we are today, I feel like we were a high-performing group. We are like family because we supported each other through the good and the bad and we never judged each other for our mistakes or differences. Each of us moved away to pursue our own paths and we were able to say our goodbyes. I am happy that even though we do not see each other on a regular basis, most of us have been able to keep in touch through phone calls, sending cards, and social media. Regardless of the time that has passed between us, I know this group of friends will always be a part of my foundation. Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because it gives us time to reflect on both the positive and the negative things that occurred during that time. It also gives us an opportunity to have a sense of closure of one time or project and an opening to something new.

Many of you have been in every class with me here at Walden University. Although we do not know each other personally, I feel like I have learned so much about each of you and from each of you. The feedback we give one another has been invaluable and I will miss our weekly communications. I hope as we part ways (adjourn) that the experiences we have shared carry all of us into our next adventures! I would love to hear from any of you in the future!

References

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution

My professional conflict has to do with a discussion between my immediate supervisor who is also my co-teacher, my director, and I. Apparently, they had a discussion without me and decided together new ideas regarding classroom management. Instead of collaborating and working to resolve an issue with classroom management, I was told about the changes. Maybe because I am people-oriented, I took this as a personal attack because I was unable to give my input at the time since I was not included in the conversation, just the end result. At the end of the day, my director came to me and thanked me for a good day and that she liked what she heard from our classroom from her office.  My co-teacher and I need to sit down and discuss the changes further than she wants to work with the older children while I work with the younger children. I am okay with each of us teaching to our strengths but I felt a little left out of the loop since we were not able to discuss this as a team.

What I have learned from this week is that this discussion did not resolve the conflict. Rather it was just an attempt to fix a problem instead of following the 3 R’s: respect, response, and relationship (Cheshire, 2007). This conversation did not show any of the 3 R’s because I was not asked for my input, it came from a place of control, and it did not feel like a co-teacher relationship. As this evolves over the next few days, I will have to go against my desire to avoid conflict so my thoughts can be heard while also understanding the needs of my co-teacher so we can come to a mutual agreement (Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.).

For my colleagues who are not people-oriented, what suggestions do you have to help me resolve this issue? 

For my colleagues who are people-oriented, what tools have you used to overcome being emotionally charged during times of conflict?

All input is appreciated. Thank you!

Trish

References

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.).  The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from:  http://www.cnvc.org/

Cheshire, N. (2007). The 3 R’s: Gateway to infant toddler learning. Dimensions of Early Childhood. Volume 35, No. 3.

Who I Am as a Communicator

Who I Am as a Communicator

This week, I was able to evaluate myself as a communicator. I was also able to see how other people see me as a communicator by having them evaluate me using the same tools I did to evaluate myself.

What I learned from these evaluations is that we all agree I am moderate on the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009) and people-oriented based on the Listening Styles Profile (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Siebold, 2009). All three of us scored me as moderate on the verbal aggressiveness scale. I was happy to see that my perceptions and the perceptions of others saw me as fair and balanced when it comes to respecting others’ viewpoints and not verbally abusive and attacking in my communication (Rubin, et al, 2009). I was also pleasantly surprised to see that we all saw me as people-oriented based on the Listening Styles Profile (Rubin & Rubin, et al, 2009). When I looked at the other orientations based on listening styles, I was okay with being classified as a people person over the other styles. I do have some action-oriented tendencies such as being more “to the point” (Rubin & Rubin, et al, 2009) depending on the context of the communication.

I was surprised the most by how different our evaluations were when it came to the Communication Anxiety Inventory (Rubin, et al, 2009). While I saw myself in the moderate categories, they saw me in the mild and low categories. When I looked at how I scored myself to how they scored me, I decided it had a lot to do with the context of the communication and how they see me or do not see me in these situations. I was able to look at myself in all contexts and experiences, whereas they only see me either in a personal context or in a professional context.

 I want to share two insights I gained based on what I learned this week. The first insight is I am a more effective communicator than I give myself credit at times. Although I may feel anxiety while communicating in certain situations, others do not see me as anxious. Another insight I gained from this week is that our communication styles not only rely on the situational context of the communication but also on our cultural context and our relational context (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2015). Understanding how all of these things are related will help me be a more effective communicator.

References

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3^rd ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (2009). Communication research measures: A Sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Communication and Cultural Diversity

Communication and Cultural Diversity

There are many different factors that make us diverse and include race, religion, gender, political affiliation, sexual orientation, and physical ability. When looking at the diversity at work or within my family, I realize that I do find myself communicating differently with people from different groups, cultures, and contexts.

I tend to be more professional at work than I am at home or out in the community, but it also depends to whom I am speaking. No matter where I am or to whom I am speaking, I still try to remain objective and respectful to the communication style of the other person. Relationships and situations influence how we communicate with others (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2015).

After reading this week’s resources, I realize I do gauge the other person’s communicating style and adjust my style to fit theirs. I also realize it is easier to communicate with someone who is open and sincere in their communication.

For example, I just got off of the phone with my brother and sister-in-law. My sister-in-law is Korean. Family is very important to her as it is our family but I feel there are some differences. American families tend to expect our children to “leave the nest” at some point after high school. Although we miss them and it might be hard for us to see them move out, it is still considered a “part of life”. My sister-in-law is having a much harder time with her son going away to college. Part of it is because he has moved from Korea to the United States and the rest because it is a large part of their culture to be family-oriented or family-centered. It has been very hard for her and they even considered the cost of moving her and my other nephew to the states while my brother stayed in Korea for work. My nephew is in college just a few hours away from me and he stayed with me for a month and I helped him with things such as getting his driver’s license changed over, to buying a car, and getting insurance. On the phone today, she thanked me more than once for taking in my nephew and helping them out. My brother and I would talk casually and jokingly with her on the phone and then my communication would change a little when she would talk. I would become more sincere and reassuring because I know how hard it is for her to have her son so far away and how important family is to her.

The three strategies I feel help me be a more effective communicator are:

1.    Continue to be “other-oriented”. To be an effective communicator you must adjust your communication style and language to help the other person feel more comfortable (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 110).

2.    Apply Milton Bennet’s Platinum Rule: “do to others as they themselves would like to be treated” (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 114). Applying the Platinum Rule, it takes the focus off of you and puts it on the other person by understanding their perspective instead of your own. Acknowledging we all have our own worldviews that affect our perceptions (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 93) and our own realities will help in recognizing the other person’s needs (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p. 36) and how to properly react to their needs.

3.    Create a third-culture and relational empathy. Creating a third-culture requires real communication and time (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 107). “Dialogue, negotiation, conversation, interaction, and a willingness to let go of old ways and experiment with new frameworks are the keys to developing a third culture as a basis for a  new relationship” (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 107). Working towards a common goal often helps create a third-culture. Relational empathy derives from this third-culture and shows varying degrees of understanding rather than a full understanding of the other person’s culture, perspective, and feelings (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 107). Context matters and sometimes both need to remove themselves from their own contexts and move into this third-culture to find commonality and respect.

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6^th ed). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc. pp. 36-38.

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3^rd ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Television Communication

Television Communication

For my blog assignment this week, I was asked to choose a television show I have never watched before, record it, and then watch it first with no sound to make observations about their body language and facial expressions and then watch it again with the sound on to see if my assumptions were correct.

I chose to record and watch The Office because it is not a show I watch or would normally enjoy. The episode I chose is episode 14, season 4, "The Chair Model". I picked a couple of clips to observe with no sound since there are a lot of monologues in this show. In the first clip, Michael, the boss, is talking to his employees in the office. While Michael is talking, he is very animated and looks to be a bit angry. He gestures with his hands quite a bit and even points at them once. You can tell from his body language that he likes to be in charge. The employees look to be confused and not in agreement with what Michael is saying. You can tell this by their facial expressions. A couple of them are looking down as if they do not like what they are hearing or as if they are trying to ignore them. One of them flips his pen in the air in frustration after Michael walks back into his office.

I went back to watch this clip of the show with the sound on. Michael was supposed to be picking out a new chair from an office supply catalog when he became fixated on the female chair model. He realized he was ready to date and went out to talk to his employees about helping him find a date. Michael was upset over on one helping him find a date or not having any friends they could set him up with. The employee that tossed the pen in the air was exasperated over his phone is in his car and was not related to what Michael was asking of them. I feel I was correct in reading the body language and facial expressions other than the employee tossing the pen. He was frustrated that he would have to walk far to his car if he wanted his phone. (I was correct in reading his frustration, but it was not related to Michael asking them to find him a date.)

The second clip I chose to observe with the sound off was Andrew and Kevin in a meeting with a group of men. One man, maybe the leader, looked angry to be there with Andrew and Kevin. Andrew and Kevin both looked nervous. I could detect nervousness through Andrew’s body language and because he was tensely holding a note card. I could tell Kevin was nervous because he was stiff and looked to be talking fast. The meeting did not last long. One man at the table looks at the man who appears to be in the lead, they all look at each other in agreement and get up to leave. From this, it looks like the meeting did not go well.

When I watched this clip again with the sound on, I discovered that they thought they were there to discuss something with Michael. Andrew and Kevin were nervous because they called the meeting (maybe they could only get the men there if they said Michael, their boss, called the meeting). The men around the table were other businesses in the building who were parking in the closer spots to the building. Andrew was speaking nervously from the notecard and began by thanking them for coming when Kevin butted in quickly to say they wanted the closer parking spots back. That is when I saw one man at the table ask the other to start parking further away from the building; they agreed to do so and walked out. The body language and facial expressions I observed were pretty close to what I witnessed with the sound on. Andrew and Kevin were clearly nervous and most of the men around the table were clearly annoyed that they were called to a meeting. Once they found out why they were there, they quickly agreed and walked out. What seemed to be important to Andrew and Kevin was clearly not a big issue for the other men.

What I learned from these two clips is the importance of body language and facial expressions when communicating with others. Sometimes, your body language and facial expressions do not convey what you are saying. In other times, they are in direct relation to what you are saying. What I have learned this week is that you need to be careful that your body language and facial expressions should convey what you are saying so you do not offend the person or people you are talking to. Nonverbal communication can clarify what you are verbally saying through complementing or accenting (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2015, p. 37). In other words, it is important that your nonverbal cues coincide with what you are saying if you wish to be an effective and competent communicator and want to avoid conflict.

References

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. G., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3^rd ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.